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Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
Anyone who starts a sentence, \'With all due respect ...\' is about to insult you.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI?!
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
I\'d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
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Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
As the post said, \'Only God can make a tree,\' probably because it\'s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
If it wasn\'t for C, we\'d be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
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The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
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I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn\'t get bigger or heavier.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
In all large corporations, there is a pervasive fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate that fear.
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
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We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
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When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.
If you can count your money, you don\'t have a billion dollars.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
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Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
Fill what\'s empty, empty what\'s full, and scratch where it itches.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
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I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn\'t take it out of my garden.
I don\'t approve of political jokes... I\'ve seen too many of them get elected.
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If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can\'t it get us out?
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
Don\'t knock masturbation, it\'s sex with someone I love .
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I\'m not there, I go to work.
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn\'t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
A hen is only an egg?s way of making another egg.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
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Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
You can pretend to be serious; you can\'t pretend to be witty.
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The difference between \'involvement\' and \'commitment\' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was \'involved\' - the pig was \'committed\'.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
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Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
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So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
If you\'re sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
All rights left. All lefts reserved. All reserves removed. All removes right.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:27
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